Doubt-Free

I have been putting off writing about this.

2016 will be the five-year anniversary of "My Mortgage Miracle".  Anniversaries are occasions for celebration, right?

Well, I hesitate to celebrate because this year also marks the deadline for the miracle that I am expecting God to perform--paying off our now $78, 822.74 mortgage.  Quite honestly, I'm getting nervous.

Why?  Because did I hear Him right?  Am I sure this is what He spoke to me?  Yes, our mortgage has gone down significantly, but that's just from our regular monthly payments.  We haven't had any windfalls that we could add to the principal balance.  It's like when we had credit card bills and could only afford the minimum payment.  That's just where we're at.

As I was thinking worrying about this recently, trying to figure out how we could tighten our belts even more to make this miracle happen, God interrupted.  I cannot quote God verbatim, but what follows is something like what might have been his end of our conversation.

"I never said that I was going to pay off your mortgage the same way I paid off your consumer debt.  My ways and my thoughts are not like yours.  Stop trying to figure me out and trust me.  Trust me based on everything I've been through with you.  Trust me because I am God."

He showed me scripture that spoke of his promise to give Abram a land of his own.  It reads, "Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you." Genesis 13:17  Next to that scripture I had previously written, "our debt" and "being debt-free".

Understand that I am not completely doubt-free.  Still there are times when I dwell on what I don't see rather than having faith in what is unseen (Hebrews 11).  But I am comforted by how God takes the time to meet me where I am in my weakness.