Today I am struggling. It's one of those days when I am living out Paul's notorious "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing" dilemma. My mind knows what the word of God says, but my heart is bleeding and the bandage that I consistently reach for is bitterness.
God challenged me today in my time alone with Him (which had been sorely lacking). No matter what my struggle, I cannot respond in the flesh. What I am fighting is spiritual and therefore I need to respond with the Spirit of God. I encourage you to read the verses that follow. Yes, you've heard them before and you know them, but are you being a doer of them?
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spirtitual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
I have to admit that even after this revelation from God on how to approach my situation, I still buckled. My mind went and revisited "It Isn't Fair" Boulevard and "What About Me?" Lane. Then, like the last few sniffles after a toddler's temper tantrum, I was finished. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit gives me His strength to stand after I have done everything...I choose the High way.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Treasure Hunting
Our eleven-year old daughter is growing like a weed and thus in need of new clothes on a regular basis. We are on a pretty tight budget since I've been home, but even if we weren't my number one place to begin looking is Goodwill.
In my younger years, I was never one for scouring the aisles of a store that contained somebody's old clothes. Does the word "cooties" ring a bell? But today being a mom of three growing children, as the saying goes, I ain't too proud to beg!
The particular Goodwill that I frequent has a large front room with merchandise organized on racks, as one would expect. But this Goodwill also has a secret buried within. If you go all the way to the back of the store, past the organized merchandise hanging on the racks, around the corner, and down the ramp you will enter the bin room.
The bin room is just that. An equally large-sized room with about 50 or so bins of merchandise all mished-mashed together. One day a friend of mine told me about the room.
"Have you ever been to the Goodwill on Cameron Street?" she asked.
"No," I answered. It was kind of out of my way and I never really even considered going there.
"I used to get all my sweaters there for seventy-five cents in their bin room," she said. "But recently they upped the price to eighty-five cents."
'Wow', I thought, 'Eighty-five cents an item is worth going out of my way for.' The next chance I got I stopped at the store. Well, I wasn't prepared for what I saw the first time that I walked into the bin room. There was a class of people there that I did not feel comfortable being around. I know that this sounds prejudiced, but I'm being honest. Combine that with the fact that I would have to hand-surf bin-by-bin for several hours through the remains of clothes belonging to God knows who so that I may or may not find what I am looking for. With all of this swirling around in my head I did what came natural--I turned on my heel and left that bin room with a quickness! Yes, I shopped second-hand all of the time. Yes, I am the queen of bargain grocery shopping. Yes, I brake for yard sales. But this was beneath me. I am not a scavenger.
I told some of my friends as well as my husband about the bin room experience. They were all very surprised. Basically their surprise was over the fact that I was not up to the challenge. As frugal as they have seen me be, they couldn't believe that I felt uncomfortable at all. Their comments empowered me. I went back, made out like a bandit, and thoroughly enjoyed finding the wonderful treasures hidden in all of those unorganized bins. I also made some observations that I thought you would find interesting and amusing.
1. All kinds of people shop in the bin room. Muslim women, old men, rich white ladies, poor black moms with kids. You will find all types there with the same goal--finding a bargain.
2. People like to share what they cannot use. There seems to be a sort of courtesy culture in the bin room where people will lay out a good find on top of the other items that are scattered in the bin. They want others who are searching to easily spot this item since they themselves have no use for it.
3. Bargain bin room customers are about the business of hunting. If you sneeze, which you most likely will from going through all of the clothes, don't expect a "God bless you." People's minds are like steel traps as they dig, sort, and look over any potential finds with a fine-tooth comb.
4. Even though everything is just eighty-five cents, it's still costs money. When I shop in the bin room I am still scruitinizing every purchase because these days every penny counts. This may sound ridiculous, but I also see others in that room picking up and putting back, choosing between this or that, and looking through what they've compiled before purchasing.
Today I was able to find about ten shirts and five pairs of pants for my daughter and I only paid $13 for everything. The trade-off of course is time as I spent about three hours there looking through the bins. But it was like a work day for me. I went through a little over half the bins, went to my car for a packed lunch, and then came back and tackled the rest. I love my job!
In my younger years, I was never one for scouring the aisles of a store that contained somebody's old clothes. Does the word "cooties" ring a bell? But today being a mom of three growing children, as the saying goes, I ain't too proud to beg!
The particular Goodwill that I frequent has a large front room with merchandise organized on racks, as one would expect. But this Goodwill also has a secret buried within. If you go all the way to the back of the store, past the organized merchandise hanging on the racks, around the corner, and down the ramp you will enter the bin room.
The bin room is just that. An equally large-sized room with about 50 or so bins of merchandise all mished-mashed together. One day a friend of mine told me about the room.
"Have you ever been to the Goodwill on Cameron Street?" she asked.
"No," I answered. It was kind of out of my way and I never really even considered going there.
"I used to get all my sweaters there for seventy-five cents in their bin room," she said. "But recently they upped the price to eighty-five cents."
'Wow', I thought, 'Eighty-five cents an item is worth going out of my way for.' The next chance I got I stopped at the store. Well, I wasn't prepared for what I saw the first time that I walked into the bin room. There was a class of people there that I did not feel comfortable being around. I know that this sounds prejudiced, but I'm being honest. Combine that with the fact that I would have to hand-surf bin-by-bin for several hours through the remains of clothes belonging to God knows who so that I may or may not find what I am looking for. With all of this swirling around in my head I did what came natural--I turned on my heel and left that bin room with a quickness! Yes, I shopped second-hand all of the time. Yes, I am the queen of bargain grocery shopping. Yes, I brake for yard sales. But this was beneath me. I am not a scavenger.
I told some of my friends as well as my husband about the bin room experience. They were all very surprised. Basically their surprise was over the fact that I was not up to the challenge. As frugal as they have seen me be, they couldn't believe that I felt uncomfortable at all. Their comments empowered me. I went back, made out like a bandit, and thoroughly enjoyed finding the wonderful treasures hidden in all of those unorganized bins. I also made some observations that I thought you would find interesting and amusing.
1. All kinds of people shop in the bin room. Muslim women, old men, rich white ladies, poor black moms with kids. You will find all types there with the same goal--finding a bargain.
2. People like to share what they cannot use. There seems to be a sort of courtesy culture in the bin room where people will lay out a good find on top of the other items that are scattered in the bin. They want others who are searching to easily spot this item since they themselves have no use for it.
3. Bargain bin room customers are about the business of hunting. If you sneeze, which you most likely will from going through all of the clothes, don't expect a "God bless you." People's minds are like steel traps as they dig, sort, and look over any potential finds with a fine-tooth comb.
4. Even though everything is just eighty-five cents, it's still costs money. When I shop in the bin room I am still scruitinizing every purchase because these days every penny counts. This may sound ridiculous, but I also see others in that room picking up and putting back, choosing between this or that, and looking through what they've compiled before purchasing.
Today I was able to find about ten shirts and five pairs of pants for my daughter and I only paid $13 for everything. The trade-off of course is time as I spent about three hours there looking through the bins. But it was like a work day for me. I went through a little over half the bins, went to my car for a packed lunch, and then came back and tackled the rest. I love my job!
Friday, December 30, 2011
New Years Eve Eve Party
This is the name that my daughter gave to the get-together she's having with her friends this evening. The party consists of dancing to songs, eating, putting on make-up, and doing facials. I knew all of the friends that were coming except for one. After meeting her, I see that she is nice enough, just like Morgan's other friends.
While we were wating for Morgan's guests to arrive she says to me, "Mom, can we put on more lights? It makes the place look inviting." I told her that we could, just for tonight. It is taking every ounce of restraint that I have to keep my fingers off of the switches. It is ingrained into me. As a matter of fact it is ingrained into my children. Over the holiday break we went to spend time with one of my husband's fellow teachers and his family. While the adults were sitting at the kitchen table, we would periodically see lights go out in different sections of the house. Following the "outting" of the light, we'd hear one of their kids scream, "Stop turning off the light!" to one of our kids. It was hilarious.
Anyhow, the girls are having fun, my daughter's happy, the lights are on, and this is one of the best New Years Eve Eves I've had in a long time.
While we were wating for Morgan's guests to arrive she says to me, "Mom, can we put on more lights? It makes the place look inviting." I told her that we could, just for tonight. It is taking every ounce of restraint that I have to keep my fingers off of the switches. It is ingrained into me. As a matter of fact it is ingrained into my children. Over the holiday break we went to spend time with one of my husband's fellow teachers and his family. While the adults were sitting at the kitchen table, we would periodically see lights go out in different sections of the house. Following the "outting" of the light, we'd hear one of their kids scream, "Stop turning off the light!" to one of our kids. It was hilarious.
Anyhow, the girls are having fun, my daughter's happy, the lights are on, and this is one of the best New Years Eve Eves I've had in a long time.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Let It Rise!
Today was one of those rare but wonderful mornings when the kids got up pretty early for school. This resulted in us having breakfast early and having extra time until the bus would arrive. Me, being as frugal as I am with my money, am even more frugal with my time. So I decided to prepare some pizza dough--one for tonight's dinner and one to freeze for another meal.
As any good baker knows, the magical ingredient in dough is yeast. In order for the yeast to become "active", it needs to be exposed to just the right temperature--105-110 degrees, according to my favorite cookbook.
I got my water ready and tested it--just about right from what I could determine. I got everything else ready in the mixer to pass the time while the yeast did its thing.
Everything was prepared. I had the flour, salt, and oil in the mixing bowl. Everything had taken close to 7 minutes by my estimate. But there sat the yeast at the bottom of the water. Lifeless. I looked at the top of the water and there were no signs of any action going on--no bubbles, no movement. I looked through the glass and everything was murky, it was no help watching through that vantage point. I was disappointed. Here I had wasted a packet of yeast by not getting the water temperature right. Then a thought came, 'Maybe if I microwave it just a little, it will be warm enough to make the yeast active without killing it.' This plan didn't sit too well in my mind. Then another thought, 'God works like this. He wants me to have faith that He is going to do what He says that He will do, even if I don't see Him working with my own eyes. I need to prepare for two batches of dough even though it looks to me like there may only be one.'
So I left the counter where the lifeless yeast was sitting and went into my cabinet. I grabbed two bowls and sprayed them with cooking spray, put the dough hook on the mixer, and went back to the yeast. I stood there for a couple of minutes...waiting. And wouldn't you know it, up rise the bubbles followed by the yeast! I couldn't help but praise God as I watched that starburst pattern rise again and again from bottom of the measuring cup. My Father loves me so much that He created a cooking class just for me!
As any good baker knows, the magical ingredient in dough is yeast. In order for the yeast to become "active", it needs to be exposed to just the right temperature--105-110 degrees, according to my favorite cookbook.
I got my water ready and tested it--just about right from what I could determine. I got everything else ready in the mixer to pass the time while the yeast did its thing.
Everything was prepared. I had the flour, salt, and oil in the mixing bowl. Everything had taken close to 7 minutes by my estimate. But there sat the yeast at the bottom of the water. Lifeless. I looked at the top of the water and there were no signs of any action going on--no bubbles, no movement. I looked through the glass and everything was murky, it was no help watching through that vantage point. I was disappointed. Here I had wasted a packet of yeast by not getting the water temperature right. Then a thought came, 'Maybe if I microwave it just a little, it will be warm enough to make the yeast active without killing it.' This plan didn't sit too well in my mind. Then another thought, 'God works like this. He wants me to have faith that He is going to do what He says that He will do, even if I don't see Him working with my own eyes. I need to prepare for two batches of dough even though it looks to me like there may only be one.'
So I left the counter where the lifeless yeast was sitting and went into my cabinet. I grabbed two bowls and sprayed them with cooking spray, put the dough hook on the mixer, and went back to the yeast. I stood there for a couple of minutes...waiting. And wouldn't you know it, up rise the bubbles followed by the yeast! I couldn't help but praise God as I watched that starburst pattern rise again and again from bottom of the measuring cup. My Father loves me so much that He created a cooking class just for me!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Holiday Shop
This week I volunteered at holiday shop in my children's schools. While serving the kids as they shopped for loved ones, I made some interesting observations.
First among these was generosity. The kids' lists had quite the variety of recipients whom they were anticipating blessing with a gift. Beyond immediate family the lists included friends, babysitters, teachers, and even a dead cat! 'How cool', I thought, 'that our young people have such generious hearts for others.'
My second observation involved spending tactics. The kids that I served worked pretty independently to stay within the budget they had. I would regularly encounter blank stares as the kids were performing mental math to add up their purchases. Others incorporated counting fingers, adding on paper, and one saavy shopper even brought her calculator along. While It was wonderful to see the kids staying within their budget, I noticed that they were also determined to spend every single dime of the money they brought with them. "Look, ma! No change!"
Finally, I saw the face of today's American family. One child was buying for "dad's girlfriend". Another child brought in tags to buy gifts for two seperate holiday celebrations: one at mom's house and one at dad's house. Two other encounters left me wondering about whether some young people today see fathers as a mere accessory in a family. In the first instance, a parent volunteer was serving a child to try and brainstorm who to shop for. The volunteer offered that the child could buy a gift for "Daddy". The child responded that they were doing a test to find out who "Daddy" is. A similar scenario occurred with me and a different child. The child had tags for multiple people. After shopping with her for mom I (without looking back through the tags) instinctively asked her what she wanted to buy for dad. "Oh, dad's in there?" she inquired. "I used to have a dad. But he left. Now I have another dad." My heart broke in two. I looked through her tags, now more than ever hoping to find "Dad" in the mix. In the end, I had to turn to her and say, "I'm sorry, Honey. Daddy isn't here."
First among these was generosity. The kids' lists had quite the variety of recipients whom they were anticipating blessing with a gift. Beyond immediate family the lists included friends, babysitters, teachers, and even a dead cat! 'How cool', I thought, 'that our young people have such generious hearts for others.'
My second observation involved spending tactics. The kids that I served worked pretty independently to stay within the budget they had. I would regularly encounter blank stares as the kids were performing mental math to add up their purchases. Others incorporated counting fingers, adding on paper, and one saavy shopper even brought her calculator along. While It was wonderful to see the kids staying within their budget, I noticed that they were also determined to spend every single dime of the money they brought with them. "Look, ma! No change!"
Finally, I saw the face of today's American family. One child was buying for "dad's girlfriend". Another child brought in tags to buy gifts for two seperate holiday celebrations: one at mom's house and one at dad's house. Two other encounters left me wondering about whether some young people today see fathers as a mere accessory in a family. In the first instance, a parent volunteer was serving a child to try and brainstorm who to shop for. The volunteer offered that the child could buy a gift for "Daddy". The child responded that they were doing a test to find out who "Daddy" is. A similar scenario occurred with me and a different child. The child had tags for multiple people. After shopping with her for mom I (without looking back through the tags) instinctively asked her what she wanted to buy for dad. "Oh, dad's in there?" she inquired. "I used to have a dad. But he left. Now I have another dad." My heart broke in two. I looked through her tags, now more than ever hoping to find "Dad" in the mix. In the end, I had to turn to her and say, "I'm sorry, Honey. Daddy isn't here."
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Money Back Guarantee?
The other day my daughter was asked to "doggysit" for a neighbor. She earned $15.
In our home we have a practice of what the kids do with any money that they receive. First, they tithe to our church. Then they put half into savings and the other half into spending. (Hint: If you have younger children, after the tithe you can put it all into savings--they'll never know :-)
Lately, Morgan has been putting all of her money into savings after the tithe. Her reasoning is that she wants to save all she can for college. I am very proud that she has made this decision on her own at only 11 years of age.
However, the day that she earned the dogsitting money, I saw her putting it all into an envelope. "What are you doing, Morgan?" I asked her.
"Making out my tithe," she responded.
"You're putting all of your money in?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I want to," she answered.
Now you would think that as proud as I was of her putting money into savings for college I would be even more proud of her wanting to sacrifice it all to give to God. Nope. Instead I started thinking "Is she just being lazy?" After all it takes time and effort to figure out the tithe, make the appropriate change, record the money in her allowance ledger, etc. Maybe she just doesn't want to go through all of those steps.
After kicking things around in my head, I finally gave up and kicked myself. I realized why I was not at ease with her giving all of her money. Because I didn't trust God to provide. You see in my mind, when Morgan puts money into savings for college, there is a guarantee that she has so many dollars towards her education. When she gives the money to God, there is no guarantee that she will ever see those dollars again.
Or is there?
Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
I had it all backwards. By putting her trust in God, Morgan is storing up treasures in heaven where there is a guarantee that she will see those treasures. The money that I am trusting in could be spent, stolen, or lost. The treasure that she has stored up will last forever.
In our home we have a practice of what the kids do with any money that they receive. First, they tithe to our church. Then they put half into savings and the other half into spending. (Hint: If you have younger children, after the tithe you can put it all into savings--they'll never know :-)
Lately, Morgan has been putting all of her money into savings after the tithe. Her reasoning is that she wants to save all she can for college. I am very proud that she has made this decision on her own at only 11 years of age.
However, the day that she earned the dogsitting money, I saw her putting it all into an envelope. "What are you doing, Morgan?" I asked her.
"Making out my tithe," she responded.
"You're putting all of your money in?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I want to," she answered.
Now you would think that as proud as I was of her putting money into savings for college I would be even more proud of her wanting to sacrifice it all to give to God. Nope. Instead I started thinking "Is she just being lazy?" After all it takes time and effort to figure out the tithe, make the appropriate change, record the money in her allowance ledger, etc. Maybe she just doesn't want to go through all of those steps.
After kicking things around in my head, I finally gave up and kicked myself. I realized why I was not at ease with her giving all of her money. Because I didn't trust God to provide. You see in my mind, when Morgan puts money into savings for college, there is a guarantee that she has so many dollars towards her education. When she gives the money to God, there is no guarantee that she will ever see those dollars again.
Or is there?
Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
I had it all backwards. By putting her trust in God, Morgan is storing up treasures in heaven where there is a guarantee that she will see those treasures. The money that I am trusting in could be spent, stolen, or lost. The treasure that she has stored up will last forever.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
The In, Not the Out, is What We're All About
Last evening in our women's care groups at church, we were discussing the topic of purity in women. Naturally our conversation went to the topic of dress. Even in churches, women dress and primp as though they were attending an audition for "America's Next Top Model". In doing this, God's Holy place is reduced to a showroom for women to reveal their newest outfit, most recent tatoo, and glamorous hairdos.
Unfortunately, many of us as women were never taught that there is more to value in us than what meets the eye. The inside of our bodies--our character, our morals--is what God cares about. However as young girls, a lot of what we heard as compliments were things like, "You look so pretty in your new dress today, Katie!" or "Jamie, I like your curls."
Will you join me in a unique and challenging task? I charge you to commit to begin to compliment girls and young ladies on their inner beauty. The Bible says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." 1 Peter 3:3-5a
There are so many ways to compliment these younger women on their inner beauty. "Josey, I love how you prayed in front of the class even though you were scared." "Lucy, thank you for mothering your sister while your mom was away. That's just what Jesus would do." "Holly, how wonderful that you made it to church even with a broken leg. I can see where your heart is." Pray to God for the opportunities and the words to say. Let's tell this next generation of young women how good they look to God.
Unfortunately, many of us as women were never taught that there is more to value in us than what meets the eye. The inside of our bodies--our character, our morals--is what God cares about. However as young girls, a lot of what we heard as compliments were things like, "You look so pretty in your new dress today, Katie!" or "Jamie, I like your curls."
Will you join me in a unique and challenging task? I charge you to commit to begin to compliment girls and young ladies on their inner beauty. The Bible says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." 1 Peter 3:3-5a
There are so many ways to compliment these younger women on their inner beauty. "Josey, I love how you prayed in front of the class even though you were scared." "Lucy, thank you for mothering your sister while your mom was away. That's just what Jesus would do." "Holly, how wonderful that you made it to church even with a broken leg. I can see where your heart is." Pray to God for the opportunities and the words to say. Let's tell this next generation of young women how good they look to God.
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